HEARTLESS AND HOPELESS
by deetatarant
Summary: You'll get my drift!


Ianto tightened the screws on the detonator and double checked that all the wires were secure. He glanced nervously over his shoulders and he met Owen's concerned look with a grin.

"I'm set; now get the fuck out so I can blow this thing."

Owen frowned at the younger man and bent closer. "Don't be daft, you're coming too."

Ianto shook his head. "No, not after the last fuck up. I need to stay in case the trigger fails and I have to set it manually."

"What?"

Ianto's face was set in a determined mask. "No choice, Owen we can't allow that supply ship to get off the ground, now get out of here."

"Ianto I am not leaving you here alone!" He bit out in a sharp whisper.

Owen watched as Ianto's eyes narrowed and brow furrowed deeply, the young man had aged spectacularly over the past 8 months, there were no soft edges left, no light in his tired blues.

"Just do as I fucking tell you. The others need you back at the sink hole. One of us has to stay; it should be me, Owen. We can't afford to lose another medic, you know that. I'm just the runner here. I'll be fine." Ianto insisted.

"You're not just the runner Ianto, you're my friend and what the fuck is Jack going to say when he gets back and finds out I left you behind?" Ianto had done a number of dangerous ops lately and exposed himself to far too much risk in Owen's view, always determined to fight back, hard and dirty. It had lead to a fair few arguments between them.

"Fuck Jack. He ran out on us as I recall and left us to deal with this fucking mess. He's probably off somewhere shagging his bloody Doctor. Now for the last time, go!"

Owen finally nodded and squeezed Ianto's shoulder, wondering when they had crossed the line and become terrorists, it gnawed at his conscience. Ianto didn't seem to care; anyone that assisted a Toclofane was a viable target as far as he was concerned.

"Go safe Ianto."

The Welshman nodded. "You too."

Owen turned and scuttled away into the wet night and Ianto huddled himself in tight against the crates and waited for as long as he could before throwing the switches.

When Ianto opened his eyes he wasn't entirely certain of what he was looking at. Pipes maybe? Metal work? A ceiling? He could feel the thrum of engines vibrating faintly, rhythmically through his bruised body and everything was just too bloody bright. Shit, he'd been caught, and where the fuck was he now? This wasn't going to be good; he'd heard rumours about Saxon. He fleetingly wondered if he was aboard the famed Valiant and a moan escaped his lips as full consciousness hit him.

"Oh.....shit." He rolled on to his stomach and spat blood on to the metal decking. A pair of booted feet came into his line of sight and Ianto fully expected one of them to connect painfully with his battered body. He lay there hauling his laboured breaths in and out, he was certain he already had broken ribs. The feet did not move and Ianto looked up the legs and was met with something he truly did not expect. Jack's eyes boring into his.

"No, please, not you."

Ianto barely registered his own words as he struggled to his feet and then realised, rather belatedly and to his shame that Jack was as much a prisoner as he was. Jack was still staring at him, his face haggard and dirty.

"Ianto?" It was a broken whisper and bore no resemblance to the Captain's usual voice. "Ianto, please tell me I'm dreaming, please."

Ianto straightened himself up, taking in the sight of the manacles and chains that secured Jack in place between two girders. How long had he been here?

"Hey Jack and no, you're not dreaming."

The life had died in Jack's eyes a long time ago, Ianto could tell. Ianto took a quick glance at their surroundings and rapidly determined he wouldn't be getting out in a hurry even as unrestrained as he was. He returned his gaze to the pathetic sight before him, taking in the wasted face and too thin a frame.

"Christ Jack. How long have you been here?"

"Not sure, been a while though." Came the faint reply. A weak smile was offered up. "You grew a beard."

Ianto's hand went to his own face automatically. "Not through choice."

Silence settled and Ianto really didn't know what to say to the man who had deserted him to be with another.

"How bad is it out there?"

"It's bad, half the world is gone the rest is in slavery. Gwen and Tosh are gone, my family are dead.... It's bad Jack, never thought I'd ever see anything like it." Ianto replied sadly unable to look at Jack again. He turned away and sank down on the deck and leaned against the grey metal bulkhead, shivering with cold, his clothes still damp. "I thought you'd run out on us."

Jack had followed the young man with his eyes. "I did."

"I see."

"Had to find the Doc, get some answers.... Turns out I really am a freak who can never die, after all."

Ianto leant his head back. "Bully for you."

Jack closed his eyes. "What happened to you, how come you ended up here?"

"I got caught. I've been planting bombs and well this time I got slack, those things caught me."

"I'm sorry Ianto."

Ianto glared at him. "For what exactly? Leaving us? Leaving me? Fucking me over? Piss off Jack." He drew his knees up to his chest and rocked himself very slightly.

Jack let out a sigh and decided against saying anything else, when all he wanted to do was cry from the pain in his shoulders and feet and the emptiness in his gut. He was close to fading again. Death by starvation this time and there was Ianto who had apparently stopped caring, wrapped in his own despair and fear. He would certainly know fear soon enough, of that Jack was certain. He could feel his own breath catching in the back of his raw throat and so tried to content himself by looking down at the beautiful young man before him, the first person he had seen in days, the first voice he had heard in months, no matter what came forth from his mouth it was just wonderful to her someone speak.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I was leaving. You deserved that much."

Ianto ignored the apology and chewed at his bitten down nails.

"I believed in you Jack and you didn't trust me. After everything we've been through. I don't blame you. I gave you no reason to trust me. I just hoped, stupidly that I actually meant something and clearly I didn't. I took out a supply ship last night; at least I think it was last night. I'm sure how long I've been here. The flames slid over the sky like red satin. I didn't realise death could be so beautiful and satisfying to behold. Sickening isn't it? I've become a monster..... Just like you always were."

Ianto looked up and their eyes met again, Jack's wet with tears that stung. "Owen told me not to do it, not to kill people who were helping those machines out there, but how could I not when those things killed my sister and her babies, right in front of me Jack. She'd surrendered herself to protect them and they were butchered, not by the machines, but by people in UNIT uniforms. People Jack, like me. So I've been blowing them up ever since."

How did it come to this? How did Saxon subdue the world so easily? Ianto hadn't even voted for the bastard. He lurched to his feet and stood an inch away from his former lover and boss, a rank odour of decay coming off him in waves. Jack's beauty all gone, like Gwen and Tosh who were just ashes.

"You weren't there, when we needed you most, you weren't there. I had faith that you'd come and save us, kept telling Owen that you would..... Did you even try, before ending up here?"

Jack gave him no answer.

"Thought so." Ianto turned away and went back to the floor.

"I'm sorry Ianto."

Ianto turned his back and waited for him to die. Three days later Jack obliged him.


End file.
